home: Temptation to the jealousy

How many times you’re jealous?
It sounds silly to have a threatened feeling to each other.

It started from the basketball exercise last Wednesday.
A new comer from nowhere came to our court and asked my friends whether she can join the exercises with us and they say yes.
And HELL starts to warm up…

She’s tall, pretty; a mix between east Timor and Dutch makes a perfect shape on her face; long nose, perfect brown eyes, perfect skin, wow…
Wait a minute, if you think that I’m jealous with her physically performance, you’re damn wrong!

I NEVER call my self as a perfect woman; you can see me as an ordinary woman. AND the most important thing is I really have a very welcoming disposition if it considering to other else perfection.
I can deal with it!
Bring me J-LO!
Bring me Angie!
Bring me the entire beautiful girl in this world…
I certainly will say how beautiful they are and I don’t feel threatened…

OK, back to the real topic.
I consider she got some skill coz she was looking everywhere to find a place to exercises. I was excited that time. Hey, I got accompany who can challenged me in the court. I thought it’s time for me to face a real basketball woman. I was quite tired to face with men all the times, coz I usually loosed.
BUT ONES AGAIN…
I WAS WRONG…

MAN!
She plays like me but when I was in junior high school!
She don’t know how to shoot in a good position, she’s not a basketball performer.
Suddenly, I hate my self for what I think.
What is she doing here?
I’m sorry girl, you don’t belong here. It showed…
My entire friend didn’t pass the ball to you, coz you’re no counted!
You got no skill!
I thought you’re gonna bring it!

If you’re trying to find your half here, go a head, we can work it out.
You wanna make some friend? You’re welcome!
BUT DON’T MESS WITH SOME OF MY FRIEND!!!

This is my point of weakness. I hate when somebody came to my hood with his or her ku-ku behavior and trying to make everything look OK.
Well, it’s NOT!
I don’t want you to come to our playground that we have built in the last 5 month. If you think our friendship stands for nothing, you better pack up your things here.

For your record, we aimed something.
We won A CHAMPIONSHIP which I’m part of it.
I woke up at 5 AM just to exercises with them, coz they counting on me.
We’ve been through a lot of things and I don’t let you to jump in to our priceless moments.
It took a year for me to build it. To have them as family but it took you 1 day to be part of it? Hold on girl, coz you’re not gonna have it just because I’m a nice welcoming person.

But I don’t know what to say to you…
I don’t want start a fight.
I just don’t want you to be part of my ‘little’ family.
You can be part of the big family here, we’re welcome you.
But NOT MY FAMILY!!!!! Coz you don’t owned it…

AND I feel so threatened…

I’m afraid you using you’re perfectly performance to jump in to my small family and you will take them with you…

Ones again…

I feel threatened…
And I have a temptation over jealousy….